You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
