I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Vodka?
Forever.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
