I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Boobs speak an international language.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize