If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
