dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
