we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
