oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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