Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
