oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
