Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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