they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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