I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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