The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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