Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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