HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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