in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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