I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
