Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
