She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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