At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
