I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
