I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
