I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
