...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
