You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
