I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
