and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
