Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
