Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
