I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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