return my video game
her vagine was all disorganized.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
