but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
