either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
