Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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