smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
this is an emotional support booty call
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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