U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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