What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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