The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
