i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
the raccoons are back...
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