rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
