what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
