my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
