the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
