Me. At least after what I've been through.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize