I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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