That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize