Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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