i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
