I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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