I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
