Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
