Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
