Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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