He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize