So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
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