Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
