i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize