my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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